A few years ago there was a girl who was homeschooled. She decided after she turned 13 she wanted to go to highschool, it was a new experience, almost like an adventure of uncharted territory. So she stuck with the decision and attended the public highschool in her town.
She met many people, had new experiences thrown left and right at her, made the boys ice hockey team and later the girls softball team, she achieved the highest honors one could be awarded, strove not conform to the ways of the ones around her, and people noticed. Most would consider her successful, and strong but part way through freshman year a group of “popular girls” she had never talked to decided to torment her non-stop, seemingly never to take a break. People whispered in hallways, unknown numbers texted relentlessly throughout the day, papers thrown at her, her very identity was falsely used online to talk to people. In a very short time, this girl felt outcast, self-conscious, quiet, her goal was to be invisible every chance she was given. She was terrified of even going into the girls’ locker room because she had a gym class with the group of girls.
One day a friend of hers decided to get back at the clique by smearing deodorant all over one of their lockers in the gym lockerroom. She stood back watching as the friend did this, heart pounding knowing this was only stooping down to the other’s level. As soon as her friend left the room she ran to clear it off. Knowing she hadn’t done anything to make these girls hate her, she wasn’t about to give them a reason to. She held her ground, taking every blow from them, not knowing what to do except pray, pray, pray, and cry as soon as she was alone. What else could she do?
This was nearly three years ago. Recently she started attending a Christian youthgroup, although apprehensive about it, she became more confident about going and started enjoying it! One night, a leader was giving a lesson about the backpack we carry through out our life, and how we toss unnecessary stones into it along the path that weigh us down. This girl came to the realization that freshman year was a huge rock- maybe even a boulder - she unknowingly was hauling around.
That girl, was me. I am shy, I get nervous around groups of people, and I don't talk much to people I don't know, but I am okay with that now. This experience has made me who I am, and I know God would not have put me in the situation if I could not handle it. I am a stronger, yet a more sensitive person today, because of those girls! So I should be thanking them, and God! The morning after the youthgroup meeting I was home alone, and vocally, I forgave them. I yelled and it out from the bottom of my heart. It doesn’t matter if they ever know, because I know that I finally threw their names out of my backpack. I won’t forget what they did, it isn’t possible, but for the healing to begin, for God to truly work in and through my life, my first step is laying this burden- this heavy, heavy rock – at the feet of Christ.
